Will you please read my poem (not for the squimish as warning)..thanksss!?

Besides completely breaking the mood with the part about your "chiseled stomach", it's really cliche. I mean, cutting your wrists in the bathtub...I think you can do better than that. The whole concept is pretty conformist itself if you ask me. Lovely use of description, really. And I like things that are macabre, but this is too bluntly "emo cutter". When writing a poem about cliche or rather corny subject matter, I think it's much more effective to describe it very indirectly and metaphorically. Either that or go even more graphic and shocking. Structurally, and descriptively, I would say it's very well written, but cutting...come on.